Friday, May 31, 2002

Maybe I'm Just Depressed ...

... but I have been reconsidering this whole blogging endeavor. For the fifty or so of you who drop by each day, don't worry. I fully intend to continue posting to Integrity until we have gone through all of CFL. After that, well, we will have to see.

There are a number of reasons for this. To be honest, one of the first ones was the lack of feedback I received on the site. I chalk most of that up to being a problem for me of pride and wanting to see Integrity be popular and frequently visited. I set that to the side. Still, as heartened as I am by having definite regular readers, I originally wanted this site to be far more interactive, hoping people would chime in with their own comments on CFL or living life as a lay Catholic. That hasn't happened and I suppose I should have foreseen it. But it leaves me the burden of handling all of the reflections and they take time to write.

That's another issue. I have come to the conclusion that I spend too much time blogging and reading blogs. Expect less posts in the weeks to come, but with more of them being reflections (which seems to be what people want anyway). Frankly, I don't know how so many of you are able to post all day long. Either you have very undemanding jobs or great flexibility in your working arrangements. I used to try and post during work a bit, but then got in the habit of writing all my posts for the day in advance and emailing them to me so I could update the site throughout the day relatively quickly. Even that has been a hassle. Going forward, don't expect to see any posts during daytime hours, except on the weekend. I never meant to try and go after the audience wanting deconstruction of news stories and I need to stop trying to post like I was.

But more than that, I find myself losing some of my taste for St. Blog's. I don't even like the label anymore. It reminds me of my law school days at HLS. I was a member of the Christian Fellowship when I was there. Like many Catholics and Protestants at HLS, I enjoyed the fellowship and company of fellow believers. But I learned many saw our meetings as a substitute for belonging to a real Church in the community. I can't say that has happened with St. Blog's, but it certainly something that I want to avoid. More than that though I have found St. Blog's falls regularly to what I have dubbed the "culture of complaint" one finds among Catholics who consider themselves to be faithful and orthodox. It's a temptation I struggle with and began to recognize as a problem during law school. Too often, so-called orthodox Catholics spend a great deal of their energy complaining about every little nit and nat. Father's homily wasn't up to snuff, today. Etc., etc. But it's only expressed as complaint. Much like the old men in the balcony of the Muppet show. It's in some ways a variation of political talk-shows: a sport in which many engage -- some for fun, some because they care -- but never rising much above the level of sport. I also sense some definite anti-clerical tendencies in St. Blog's.

Now, don't misread this as some big indictment against my fellow Catholic bloggers. It isn't. It also isn't a call to stop commenting on the Scandal (although I think there's plenty of other things to discuss about the Church and its work in the world today.) [PROGRAM INTERRUPTION: GOD IS GOOD! WINGS 2, AVS 0 AND WE'VE ONLY PLAYED 3 MINUTES!] I think many post great links, some interesting commentary and good analysis.

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